April 17, 2017

Getting My Act Together

April 17, 2017/ Lindsay Shaffer

At the beginning of the year I was challenged to come up with a word to focus on this year. I couldn't really come up with a specific word, but I had the general idea that I wanted to "get my act together."

I bought a cute planner and decided I was going to be organized. I love my planner and it is a great start, but sometimes it gets lost on the mess of my desk. I wanted to get the entire house decluttered, but stalled out before tackling the bedrooms. I had all of these grand ideas that if I could get the house organized and cleaned, if I could tackle the laundry pile I call Mount Washmore, if I could send out birthday cards on time, if I could finish all of my half-completed craft projects, if I could be on time for everything, if I could get a healthy supper on the table at a reasonable time each night, if, if, if... And guess what? It isn't happening. That is not real life. We have 6 kids and a little wanna-be farm. I try, but something will always be a mess and I can't get everything done.

Just because everything isn't Pinterest-perfect doesn't mean that I am failing. I am such a perfectionist about certain things, as I have confessed before, and I am slowly chipping away, learning to let go. I get to a point where I completely run myself into the ground. So, really, "getting my act together" is more about getting my attitude together and prioritizing.

I didn't sew the rest of the Easter dresses on time again this year. I ordered some fabric that came a few days ago and I didn't want to stress myself out to get them done. So I didn't. Instead, we made a ton of peanut butter eggs and did a lot of cleaning, both of which were very necessary. We didn't get to any egg hunts besides the ones at family gatherings because of vehicle problems. Instead, the girls played outside and we painted our toenails on the sidewalk. Probably the most shocking... I didn't give my kids anything in their Easter baskets. It was a personal decision to combat a materialistic attitude some of them have been displaying. (When did Easter become the spring version of Christmas?) Instead, we opened resurrection eggs on Easter morning as a family and took turns reading from the Bible.

This Easter I think I found a little more peace. I realized that I can't get everything done, so I have to choose what is important to me. I can let go of some traditions that aren't working, postpone them, or even just take a break from them. I am pretty sure that my kids aren't going to be scarred for life because they missed out on a chocolate bunny. A few years ago I would have been up all night sewing to get dresses finished and baskets filled. This year, I curled up on the couch with a book waiting to shower and relaxed! I can see that part of getting my act together isn't doing more, but learning to be OK with doing less.

December 26, 2016

An Imperfectly Merry Christmas

December 26, 2016/ Lindsay Shaffer

It has been awhile. I know. I have been super busy, so I have a lot to update here on the blog. If you are looking for something crafty, there is not so much of that in this post. However, I feel the need to do more writing about real life.

In November, I was asked to be a part of a MOPS panel on Holiday traditions and encouraging thankfulness and kindness in our children. I did mention some of the things that our family does, but I also confessed many of the ways I have messed up over the years struggling to keep up with traditions that weren't working and striving for Pinterest-worthy Christmas perfection. I have come to realize that I need to simplify many areas of my life.

A few weeks later, a last-minute, long term subbing position came up at the elementary school. I thought it sounded like fun and a good challenge for me! I love staying home with my youngest, but this was only for a few weeks leading up until Christmas and it helped our family financially.

There were so many things that I never saw coming...

First, I remembered how much I miss teaching!

Second, I am now a coffee drinker.

Third, there were some extra challenges for our family. I knew it would be hard and that we would all have to pitch in to make it work. Oh, but we faced trials that left me scratching my head and wondering why I ever thought I should take this position. Seriously. It was the worst possible timing. I was broken and humbled, stressed out and reduced to tears. But, I had to put it aside and put on a smile for my class because that is what they needed.

On my last day, I mentioned my pefectionistic tendencies and someone was surprised that I still had any of that left with having six children. It dawned on me that with so many of the things I had been going through, I had no other choice but to let go of some of my perfectionism over the past few weeks. I can see that more and more of it has been chipping away over time, with a larger chunk knocked off more recently.

For our school's Christmas Around the World, we presented the country of Italy. One of the things that we taught the students was about the legend of La Befana. Here is the gist of it... La Befana was an old woman who was very dedicated to cleaning her house. The three wise men stopped to ask directions to Bethlehem and invited her to come with them to see the Christ Child. She was too busy sweeping her house, so she declined. However, that night when she saw the great light in the sky she realized her mistake. She grabbed a bag with some toys that had belonged to her own child and ran to catch up with the wise men. She ran so fast that she began to fly on her broomstick. She never could find the Christ Child, so instead she leaves gifts in the stockings of the children of Italy each year.

This really made me think. I may not be consumed with having a perfectly clean house (a great housekeeper I am not!), but I do get wrapped up in my tasks and my quest for perfection in other areas instead of seeking Christ.

Last year, I ruined Christmas Eve for my family with a meltdown/tantrum that involved my failure to sew new stockings, a poor movie choice by others, an attempted new tradition of Christmas pajamas that were opened without me, complete flipping out, tears, and apologies. It was MY FAULT, MY PERFECTIONISM, MY SELFISHNESS. I promised myself that this year would be better.

But, to do that, I had to let go and simplify.

Instead of stockings, which I still haven't made, I stuffed everything in gift bags. I even let the kids help wrap each others' gifts (although they were threatened to maintain secrecy). It was a way for the girls and I to get some one-on-one time together on Christmas Eve Eve and they loved being in on the Christmas secrets. We had a Merry Christmas!

I hardly did any decorating. I let the kids put things wherever they wanted. Less hassle for me. More fun for them. My pumpkins and mums were still on the porch up until Christmas Day, when the boys took the pumpkins away... to use them for target practice. My poinsettia lost all of its leaves, but the girls liked seeing the new growth on it and won't let me throw it out. Even without fabulous decorations, we STILL had a Merry Christmas!

I hand delivered a lot of our Christmas cards and the rest were last-minute or late. I am sure the recipients did not love them any less and I bet they still had a Merry Christmas!

I started decorating our tree with colored lights and changed my mind halfway through. Then, the white lights stopped working on half of the strand. I planned to fix it later, but while I was upstairs, the girls decorated it. The ribbon was perfectly spaced, but the few ornaments they put on did not match. I never had time to fix it, so we were left with a very original tree that made people smile. It was still a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

half colored lights and half white lights on the tree

So, things might be a hot mess around here, but letting go of my own ridiculous ideas and perfectionism feels so freeing. I am so grateful for even those awful trials that helped me to simplify this year!

Merry Christmas!

August 31, 2016

How to get the authentic farmhouse look in 5 easy steps

August 31, 2016/ Lindsay Shaffer

Fixer Upper seems to have sparked a huge decorating trend. Everyone wants the "farmhouse look" in their homes. I grew up on a farm. We have a little farmette now. I have a little bit of insider perspective.

So, here is how to get the farmhouse look in 5 easy steps.

1. Buy a farm. I never said it was gonna' be cheap.

2. Get some animals. It seems like everyone starts with chickens. That is great! You will get some farm fresh eggs and can probably even find a cute sign to decorate with that now feels legit. You get bonus points for pretty, colored eggs from heritage breeds. Oh, but those eggs are not always very clean, so you have to wash them. And chickens poop. Poop brings flies. So, your farmhouse decor with those pretty white walls and cupboards will now be speckled with fly dirt. True farmhouse style.

3. Start a garden. It is so exciting to watch plants grow and be able to eat fresh food that you grew yourself. Only, you have to deal with dirt, worms, bugs, and the gigantic mess that cooking will make all over your kitchen. Tomato splatter all over the pretty white walls and cupboards and subway tile back splash just gives even more farmhouse charm.

4. Add even more animals! Now, there is no need to add cats. Those will be supplied by strangers who think that dropping off cats at any random farm is a lovely anonymous gift. And they multiply, so it is the gift that keeps on giving. They will decorate your porch and work as a doorstop- stopping you from being able to open any doors. Instead, get some cows and/or horses. That will really increase the amount of poop produced on your farm and contribute to the aroma of your property. Correspondingly, the flies will also increase. At this point, you will need to keep those lovely windows closed tightly, invest in fly strips, and scream frantically at anyone who dares to open your lovely farmhouse french doors any more than necessary. Those raised ceilings and crown molding will also be speckled in fly dirt, so be sure to enjoy that farmhouse style as you are scraping it off. Oh, and "muddy" boots will also be the most common accent piece for your home at this point.

5. Get a tractor. No, not a lawnmower. A REAL tractor. Preferably a red one that is very, very old. Before too long, you will have a large assortment of implements to go with it- plows, planters, disks, rotary mowers, etc. There will also be many, many repairs. Your charming little barns will be filled. When a repair needs to be done, prepare to park in the garage next to a tractor that is split in half. (Just be careful not to pull in when a freshly painted hood is in your spot!)

All joking aside, there is a lot of hard work, sacrifice, risk, and expenses that go along with farming. I do love farming and we are blessed to be able to own a lovely piece of land. I love being able to raise our children with these experiences. But, there are a lot of things that we give up and there are a lot of hard things we have to do so that we can have this lifestyle. Like anything in life, it isn't all picture-perfect.

If you truly love the farmhouse look (I do!) by all means, paint everything white and hang a cute "Farmer's Market" sign up on the wall. I am really considering painting my kitchen cupboards white, too. However, no matter how adorable the decor may be, the real beauty is found outside of the farmhouse.